Roughly 6 years ago, I lost about 35 lbs and kept it off for about about two years. I was in the best shape of my life. I was fit and running half marathons. Then life sort of just got in the way. I am not going to lie. The past six years have been the hardest on our entire family. I became the full time caregiver to my disabled mother. We struggled at parenting two teenagers both of whom needed us in their own ways. I found a very close family member nearly dead from a stroke and watched him take his last breath. I watched my mom almost die of heart failure. There were so many visits to hospitals and doctors and battles with insurance companies. Don’t get me started on COVID. The isolation really shook our world. I was diagnosed with COVID in early 2021 and have not been the same since. As a family, we have dealt with mental illness and all the struggles that come along with diagnosis and treatment. The list really does go on and on. I can’t tell you how many times I have just fallen to my knees and wept in despair.
I explain all this because taking care of yourself in times of struggle is just hard. Especially, if you tend to put everyone’s needs above your own, like me. Life is sometimes just hard and unfair. What can we do? What can I do?
The first thing that comes to mind is commitment. I have to make a commitment to myself and the process. Repairing myself at this point will be an all out assault on negative thinking, bad choices and making excuses. It will take a huge commitment. Recently, I was listening to someone successful making a speech and she said something that hit me like a brick. So, you have a problem with consistency? If you have a problem with being consistent then you just don’t care enough. Wait, what did she just say? I literally just got slapped in the face with a good dose of get up off your rear and just do it. I really needed that.
So, where do I start? It feels so overwhelming. First, I plan to make a list of areas that I want to examine. I need to look for the baby steps and quick wins. I need to build momentum early. I know this is the only way I can stay the course. I am thinking sleep and nutrition are at the top of that list. Secondly, I am planning to see a functional medicine doctor. I have seen so many specialists over the last year. No one seems to be able to diagnose my joint issues and fatigue. I hope a different kind of doctor will help.
Stay tuned. Over the next year (because I am being realistic), I will be sharing my plans, my successes and my failures through this blog in hopes to inspire others or at the very least bring realism back to healthy living. It’s fu&%ing hard, but I got this. We got this.
With much love,
Jamie, XO
